Sunday, May 18, 2014

I have arrived at my mother’s and she is excited to show me the new sauna she and Larry have had installed.  At first, I’m excited to use the sauna and then she introduces me to the man who helped install the new sauna.  I can tell that there’s something else going on.  My mother seems flirty with this man and it is both good to see her happy and upsetting because she and Larry have so much invested in one another.  The man and my mother are openly sexual with one another, touching and kissing.  When my mother leaves, however, the man turns his attention towards me, making an aggressive move to seduce me next.  I refuse his attentions but he is confident, convinced I’m merely playing “hard to get.”  I become angry and go to confront my mother.  I tell her that this man made a move on me, that he’s a pig and she deserves better.  At first, she refuses to believe what I am saying but then seems to be listening to me.  She leaves and I am left alone.  The guy tries to seduce me again and I become angrier.  I then find out that he has seduced someone else, another woman, younger even than I.  Now my anger is beyond reason.  I go to some yoga workshop encounter group thing and my mother is not there.  A guru and his companion/friend/whatever, enters the room and the two of them go around the room and start saying “Everything is love.”  I become angry and start shouting that it is a lie, that my mother is betraying someone she loves for someone who is incapable of loving her.  I storm out of the room, crying with rage.  I go to my room and start packing my bags.  My mother comes in and I tell her I want to go home now.  “But you just arrived.”  I look at her, say nothing, furious with her for the circumstance into which she has placed me.  She walks away, unwilling to let me leave immediately.  I go to the kitchen and there is a small Siberian Husky puppy. I’m melancholy as well as delighted by the puppy.  Another comes bouncing into the room, followed by an Old English Sheepdog that is the mother.  I assume that the huskies are actually a mixed breed but that doesn’t make them any less adorable.  Marc walks in and he tells me something but I am still so distressed about my mother, that all I can do is tell him what is going on.  He is surprised and then upset as well but less affected than I.  I go out for a walk, ending up on a small hill, sitting on the grass.  I don’t understand what is going on, why my mother is having an affair, and how she cannot believe me when I say this man is bad news.

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